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| 2006 |
[11 Jan 2006|12:20am] |
Whooooaaaaa....
this one's been collecting mounds of dust!!!
Time to start a new year though. New year, new job.
Retail is always exhausting though, I work for Coach and although it's definitely not a drag, there are secret shitty parts people'd never realize when they step in... same with all places I guess. It's much better than working at Nordstroms for sure though. What IS a drag is I have crappy hours, we all do right now, and that's why I haven't quit Charles David yet. Management drives me insane at Charles David, but I call the shots on the hours.
I'm working on a screenplay right now, it's funny- admit it, even YOU used to be working on a screenplay, it's a stage everyone definitely goes through but I have a over 50 pages so far. I'm not ambitious but I do create. It's a dark one, my literature professor asked to see it after he saw my poetry. (insert Josie shouting "wow! you really mean it??")
Even got a new car, dark gray Nissan Sentra (oh that's SO ASIAN) a girl can't complain yet!
and... I'm off.
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| an update 1 week later |
[18 Apr 2004|08:06pm] |
Hello all,
87 comments on the last post; it would take me forever to reply to every single one. A lot of anonymous comments revealed the gray turmoil enshrouding the lives of some of these posters, and I am not going to say something lame, or try falsely to make anyone feel better by saying, "it's going to be alright."
Of course, I'd LIKE to say that.
But that wouldn't be fair for the people because I don't even know what's going on in their lives.
All I can say is that we need to grit our teeth and push as hard as we can through the tough times, shove the dirt away, and let the suffering make us stronger. I hope you don't let suffering strip you to the core and make you weak. The strongest ones are the ones who take the beatings/hard times, accept them as life/reality, and continue on. In the end they emerge on the other side, having braved the caves.
And you may not realize it, but other people, your family, your friends, acquantances, other people may be observing you and seeing how you can push through the grime. So be an inspiration to them, and plow through with the best stride you can manage. Go ahead and tell me you lost the strength and are hating yourself (we all go through the self-hate stage, it happens to every human) but do it to help others too.
Good luck.
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| writing mode |
[10 Apr 2004|04:23pm] |
It’s strange sometimes to think that there are so many thousands of people that are feeling the same way; at the very same instant you are, but it doesn’t seem like it. Thousands of sand granules are falling from the sky, the sky, the sky is falling: beware. (ring, ring) “hello, I’m sorry but you’ve reached someone who cannot take the time to care at this moment, please refrain from leaving a message and not saying a damn word after the tone, thanks.” The cruelty of what we really think, is slightly refreshing after a good dose of falsity.
I am sorry for not updating in a while. I just didn't think I had anything worthwhile. You look at so many of the other fantastic creations out there and feel belittled.
But it doesn't hurt to try.
I've seen other people do this, and thought it interesting.
If you have a secret you want to share in your life, please comment anonymously and let me know.
I'm going to post a comment myself, as anonymous, and that will be my secret.
That's what I like about this LJ community, we can all join together at some point. PS, I think I added back every person who added me. Let me know if I haven't! :p
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| bookworm |
[27 Mar 2004|06:41pm] |
The weather was marvelous today. It was great because the weather had been a heavy, brooding, gray blanket of clouds lately. And even though I'm an avid fan of rain, it was nice to see the sun spreading its rays all over. While walking home, the sun warmed my bare arms. Yeah! It was even warm enough to just go outside and walk around in my Beatles t-shirt, sneaks, and a pair of cargos. I could only describe today as a "simple pleasure."
Went to the library today also. While thumbing through the shelves of books, I realized how much I missed the massive building. The library has its own aroma. A musty scent from the books themselves and then the slightly unappealing odor of people who come in off the street. You get used to it.
And then a feeling dawned on me that I also missed getting lost in a good book. School work has taken up most of my time these days. So, the last really good book I read was about a month ago. Sad, really.
Now that a report is due I had to go get one. Unfortunately, they didn't have my first choice; Catch-22. I really wanted to read it, but its remnants were either lost or checked out. Tough.
So, I ended up leaving with One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I decided to get some more so that once I was finished with this book I could just dive into another one. By recommendation of my friend Gerti, I also checked out The Thorn Birds and A Streetcar Named Desire (she told me to give plays a chance, so I am.) Also, a recent book by Ray Bradbury. I really enjoyed Farenheit 451, so I decided to see what else he had to offer. Honestly, I fell asleep reading the first chapter [of Farenheit 451] because it was too descriptive, but then the next night I stayed up untill 2 a.m. reading it. I couldn't put it down! The irony.
I think either today (or when we read Lord of The Flies for english last semester) there was a turning point in my life. When it came to the books I read. Right now I really do feel like reading "the classics." I'm not sure if I'll ever turn back to the Young Adult Fiction section again. Probably. For now, though, I want to go back. The Catcher in the Rye, A Clockwork Orange, Tender is the Night, and *gasp* (I know you've been raving about this Cherylle, but I think someone's already doing their oral book report on this) maybe 1984...when I feel like reading about depressing themes in life and the atrocities of man again.
Inevitably, I will read Catch-22. I feel like reading something funny right now. Okay, got to go start reading.
Josie
P.S. I've rediscovered that green is still my favorite color.
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| new poem |
[20 Mar 2004|12:40pm] |
States
After your tears,
frozen on your cheek
like wax
clinging to
our favorite candle,
you said our legacy
is how far
we had come and
should not be judged
on some illusion of forever
I kept brushing
your hair--just the way
you like--preferring
to ignore how far down
our candle had burned
As your trembling voice
trailed off,
even your words were
torn from our grasp
and lost to the
moonless night
And our candle,
under which we
once made promises
of eternal devotion,
first flickered
then surrendered
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| NEW |
[16 Mar 2004|03:07pm] |
WOW!
It has certainly been quite a while!
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| difficult |
[21 Sep 2002|05:10pm] |
(sigh)
School is hard as ever. Still, so very, very fun.
I wonder what would happen if high school was not compulsory/required!
I have been thinking a lot about my meaning/purpose in life, because I know girls my age face the same questions. Of course, like all others' it was very confusing and at times very troubling, but I am settled in my life and am very grateful for my purpose. :)
Good day to everyone!
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| some cleaning |
[21 Aug 2002|01:11pm] |
I cleaned up my friends list and added all those who had added me. Thank you.
I am also writing e-mails to all the GIRLS on my livejournal list, so please check your e-mail! If you haven't received an e-mail from me, please e-mail me at apricots14@xsmail.com because I wanted to share something with you, please e-mail me!
Sad note: School is coming soon!
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| poetry |
[17 Aug 2002|12:03pm] |
I am so very sorry for not updating any earlier. I read through many journals and I love the community of nice friends I have. THat is why I wrote poems ONLY for my livejournal friends. I want them to know special and kind they are to me, and how I love their happiness when they read something I wrote for them.
Here are some haikus for you kind friends!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
as the sun beams upon the stones
and shines on my steps
as still as the waters
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A soft pink lily
Lays on the surface of a
Pond, motionless, still.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[03 Aug 2002|01:07pm] |
Specially dedicated to my livejournal friends!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~stars~~~~~~~~~~~`~~
On lazy foolish summers
When life can pass you by
The suns slumbers, and the moon stirs
And soon black is the sky
Have you ever seen life's real stars?
Sprinting 'cross the air
Past the cricket's song so sweet
Move, breathe! if you dare
Chase them down the road
But be cunning, but be clever
Dauntless these stubborn stars
Catching them will take forever!
When you think of giving up
When you think you'll never get near
Suddenly from heaven's power
A wave of them will appear
What are these creatures you hope to catch
So agonizing, but so small in size
These nightly guests are nothing more
Than tiny firelies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
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[29 Jul 2002|03:30pm] |
Here is a present for my livejournal friends and viewers! :)
Enjoy!
~~~~~Ocean Day 267~~~~~
A pelican sweeps over the crashing waves
as fish thrust deeper under his majesty
Seagulls soar and dodge the breezes
dipping randomly in waters for a mouthful
Seaweed bobs along the surface
sinking and rising to the current
The waves crash onto gray boulders
creating wet patterns on the crevices
Sun rays strike through the air
on another ocean day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[21 Jul 2002|10:43pm] |
OH MY GOSH!
Justin! Thank you SO MUCH for the new livejournal style! I love it so much! You are 100% correct, James King is a beautiful woman! Wow, I never knew you were going to make it so pretty like this! Thank you, Justin!
Any other compliments can be sent to my computer genius of a friend Justin K.
But of course, every woman is beautiful. I really did NOT want to say that, because it is the most cliched statement, but it's true. Physical appearance was not created for self-worth the quality of the individual, rather, obviously the human physical appearance is just an outer layer to "cover" the human body inside.
*****
Random act of kindness: please go to one of your friends, ANY one, and tell him or her how beautiful he/she is inside.
*****
Do it tomorrow, or another day, but please do it soon, it is one of the sweetest things you can say.
Tell me what happens! (comment if you'd like)
*Justin, please check your e-mail for a special message from me!*
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[21 Jul 2002|02:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
I wonder how everyone else is spending their lazy summer days?
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[13 Jul 2002|12:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
I haven't updated in a LONG time!
And I lost some weight during the camp trip too!
I wish I do not have to continue going to public internet access terminals to update my journal because my computer had home has the worst internet ever.
Longer update coming soon!
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[03 Jul 2002|09:59am] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
] |
Tomorrow morning I'll be going on a camping trip for a couple of days with my family, so my livejournal wil be on a short break.
Good-bye for now! :)
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| something I want to share with all you sweet people :) |
[01 Jul 2002|10:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
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A year ago, my cousin introduced me to poetry. Before that I did not write poetry at all, but she showed me a method to get me started that got me HOOKED, and about a week later I was able to compose poems completely on my own without the initial method.
First, she showed me a love poem from a poetry book. I don't recall who the author was, but I THINK it would be Robert Frost. We read the love poem together, and she asked me, "Here's a question you just answer with your thoughts in your mind: What feelings did the poem give you?"
Then she grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and handed them both to me. She then read out loud the first line of the poem, and said, "Write anything that comes to your mind- a response to that line, or your emotions to that line, or maybe even something the person he wrote that to would say." I wrote my emotions and thoughts.
She did that for every single line in that poem, and by the end, I had my first poem. It wasn't very great, but it wasn't copy of that poem either. It was my own thoughts and feelings, and I actually enjoyed the experience. For the rest of that week every day I did that with a different poem, and was inspired with new thoughts every day. The next time I wrote, a poem just simply POPPED into mind... or an image popped into mind, and that was how my love of poetry started.
So many kind users have queried, "how do you write like that?" I am NOT A GREAT POET!- just a bored person! :) But the art of poetry crafting is a very simple, simple task! If you are completely new, then try my method that my cousin showed me. After a while, your own poetic instinct will kick in... and you'll be crafting poems. The rule is to write all and any visions that come to mind, then the poem starts to become imaginative. I hope that helps! :)
As always, another gift dedicated to my dear livejournal friends:
~~~~~Following the Brook~~~~~
A tiny Spruce leaf
brown and speckled
drifts from its abrode
and falls victim
to rushing waves of water-
- they churn and crash!
Spinning between spiraling currents
dodging random rocks
the leaf picks up speed
- whirling spinning dancing!
- blur of brown
finally the brook tires down
relaxes
and the leaf
-drifts anonymously away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[01 Jul 2002|11:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 energetic |
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Greetings, sweet friends!
Thank you so very much for the constant responses and kindness. Some people said very unflattering comments about themselves- but I knew it couldn't be the truth, they were so kind and awesome. Well, I couldn't update my journal yesterday because I had no internet power in my house since the computer had some weird problems.
My aunt all the way from Texas called me! She, being only 30 years old, chatted to me excitedly on the phone about my life and dreams. I used to have hopes to get into the animation industry, but lately I changed my future goals to something more stable, and it made my thoughts about the future more assured. I want to become an elementary school teacher! Some of my friends had quickly protested about how financially PERFECT that career was, but that is currently what I really, deep in side want to be.
In the past I have watched my dear girl friends have their hearts broken by their boyfriends, and months ago, memories of the pain that my friends described to me had inspired me to write this poem:
~~~~~The Note~~~~~
crushed rose petals fall to the floor
bruised pink leaves soaked
with tears
pale white fingers clutch
a hardened note that tossed
away months of lies
soon the note too was soaked
with tears and she could no longer
read it through the haze
~~~~~
More updates coming soon! :) I enjoy all of your friendliness and care, I am so excited to keep in touch with everyone here on livejournal. What other exciting features are there? Thanks!
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[29 Jun 2002|03:18pm] |
A huge number of friendly livejournal users have added me to their friends list. I carefully checked my list and added those who had added me, I am sure I didn't leave anyone out, but if I did, please e-mail me and I'll update my list.
I thank EVERYONE who gave me such a cool welcome to my livejournal. I had never expected so many welcoming users to introduce themselves to me!
As a token of my thanks, I post here a recent poem, one of my favorites:
~~~~~Autumn: The Season of Surrender~~~~~
October suns and moons breeze quicky by
as the orange leaves fall down
the Elm trees to decorate the grassy
seas with fiery patches of
brown, gold, and orange,
Autumn skies paint the sunset
with passionate swirls of red
gaze into the painted sky
and surrender the soul
to the infinte red
~~~~~~~~~~~
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[27 Jun 2002|09:16pm] |
***City Evening***
Nighttime city lights
gather like dense fireflies
tires squelch
as cars zoom by
my hair strands fly past
in the wind
blinding my eyes
and in the dark
I still am buried
in the blackness
that is the city.
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[27 Jun 2002|06:18pm] |
This morning my mother took me to Wal-Mart to return a microwave we had purchased a couple days ago. I went to the fragrance department and was delighted when I ran into Trisha, one of my close friends.
We went crazy over spraying each other with the testers! There was a fragrance that smelled like TANGERINES, that I really want to purchase now. The fragrances at Wal-Mart are shockingly cheap, and smelled lovely.
I normally do not wear perfume at all, but Trisha got me into it.
However, my die-hard interest still remains ART! I love drawing pictures and creating tiny sketches. I also love writing poetry, although as a beginner I am not great.
I am off to search for livejournal communities that I could possibly join.
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